Leaving a toxic relationship is never easy. You second-guess yourself, wonder if things will get better, and hold on to the good moments, hoping they outweigh the bad.
You start excited, full of hope, believing you can make it work. But over time, it drains you. You give more than you have, you lose yourself in the process, and no matter how hard you try, it never seems to be enough.
Teaching is the same way—here’s how.
#1: The honeymoon stage was everything
The beginning felt like nothing you’d ever experienced before.
You decorated your Pinterest-inspired classroom that you’ve been dreaming about for years. You see the roster of your new students’ faces and are so giddy with excitement that you can barely contain it. And then the day comes, the one where you officially finish your first official day of teaching.
You’re exhausted but exhilarated because you’re finally doing what you’ve always wanted.
#2: The red flags appear early on
Days, weeks, even months start to pass, and you start to notice a few cracks in the foundation. Maybe it’s the lack of parental support. Or the toxic work environment that makes you realize just how broken the education system truly is.
You still light up planning lessons and connecting with your students, so you know it’s not that. But something is just starting to feel a little bit…off.
And according to your friends and family, so do you.
You’re exhausted.
Defeated.
And the only thing you can think about doing when you get home is collapsing.
But you didn’t always feel this way. Things were so good when they started, so surely everything will go back to normal eventually. Right?
#3: The warning signs become hard to ignore
People warned you.
You watched the TikToks and YouTube videos about teacher burnout. You heard the rumors and stories from colleagues about just how upsetting this job can become.
You knew this job wasn’t going to be easy, but you didn’t think it was going to be this hard.
Still, you fight. You love your job. You wanted it to work so badly. And you think, “I’m different. I can be the one who changes the system.”
So you keep going, and you block out the noise and jump in the only way teachers know how: Heart first.
#4: The bad times outweigh the good
You desperately hold on to the good times because, without them, you have to face the reality of what this relationship has become.
Sure, the good times are great, but the bad times feel so overwhelming and crushing at times that those happy moments feel like they’re getting further and further away.
But then, just when you’re about to throw in the towel, something happens. A sweet, beautiful moment that is strong enough to convince you to just hold on a little longer.
So you do.
And the cycle starts again.
#5: You stay because you truly love them
As more time passes, the more time you spend feeling stuck.
You think about leaving, you imagine what your life could be like if you were doing literally anything else. You let yourself daydream about the possibilities, and it all seems so perfect. So possible.
But you’re terrified.
So you stay. Not because you want to, but because you don’t know how to leave.
They tell you they need you.
That you’re selfish if you leave.
You’re hurting the students.
They tell you anything they can to keep you trapped, right where they are. And so you stay, all while knowing the choice to protect them has destroyed you.
And the cycle continues.
I know this resonates with you.
The truth is, the grass really is greener on the other side. Not because it’s some magical, perfect place, but because on the other side, you finally have the time, energy, and freedom to water it yourself. If something in your heart is telling you it’s time for a change, it’s for a reason. You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to keep hoping for things to get better when deep down, you know they won’t.
You can choose yourself. You can choose a better life. And when you do, you’ll wonder why you didn’t leave sooner.
Let’s start creating your exit plan now, friend.
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